how to be perfect

"How to be perfect" by Ron Padgett


get some sleep

eat an orange every morning

be friendly it will help make you happy

hope for everything...expect nothing

take care of things close to home first

straighten up your room before you save the world

then, save the world

be nice to people before they have the chance to behave badly

wear comfortable shoes

do not spend too much time with large groups of people

plan your day so you never have to rush

show your appreciation to people who do things for you

even if you have paid them...even if they do favors you don't want

after dinner wash the dishes

calm down

don't expect your children to love you so they can if they want to

don't be too self critical or too self congratulatory

don't think that progress exists...it doesn't

imagine what you would like to see happen

and then don't do anything to make it impossible

forgive your country every once in a while

if that is not possible...go to another one

if you feel tired...rest

don't be depressed about growing older

it will make you feel even older which is depressing

if you burn your finger put ice on it immediately

if you bang your finger with a hammer hold your hand in the air for twenty minutes

you'll be surprised by the curative powers of ice and gravity

do not inhale smoke...take a deep breath

do not smart off to a policeman

be good

be honest with yourself, diplomatic with others

do not go crazy a lot its a waste of time

drink plenty of water...when asked what you would like to drink say "water please"

take out the trash

love life

use exact change

when there's shooting in the street don't go near the window

(listen)