WE KNOW it’s been a very long time since we last wrote to you and indeed, we wouldnt be bothering you now, at a time when you are so hectically busy, if we didnt truly believe that you were our last hope. As youre probably well aware, given that the NPN (North Pole News) covered the story in graphic detail, things haven’t been great in Ireland for some time now, but of late, we’ve reached an all-time low.
Firstly however, we feel we must point out that although you saw fit to give us nothing but coal in our Christmas stockings for the last couple of years, we assure you that unlike Portugal, Spain and Greece, the Irish people were most grateful for your gift as without it, we may not even have survived the last few bitter winters of discontent.
Of course, you of all people, will know if we’ve been naughty or nice over the past 12 months but we beg you to be particularly forgiving and understanding this Christmas, given that our nerves are somewhat frayed and frazzled after three years of austerity, hardship and deprivation.
Now, just to be crystal clear about this Santa, where we are beseeching you to look on us favourably, this is not a begging letter as such, as we no longer covet luxury goods such as private jets, helicopters, four-wheel drives, minimalist mansions and designer clothes. In fact, weve gone clean off all of that stuff of late.
Indeed, if we had one magic Christmas wish, it would be to turn back the clock to 2005 (a year before things got completely out of control) where we would auction off every single square inch of our little island to the highest international bidders and convert the sale proceeds into gold bars, which we’d then hide under the beds in our (rented) homes. Needless to say, we’d also have astutely avoided investing in bank shares, pension funds and property syndicates. But since it’s unlikely that even you, Santa Claus, can turn back the clock, we ask instead for the following:
If you could possible spell it out clearly to the Irish Government, the IMF, EU and the ECB that our national economic mess and our bank crash are two separate and distinct problems and should not be bundled together for the sake of saving the euro.
You might also remind them that there are limits to how much pain we can take, all in the name of saving our corrupt lending institutions. And forcing us to pay 5.8 per cent interest on our loan in the hope that such a punitive fee will put off other countries from following our lead is simply ridiculous, as no sovereign state in its right mind would purposely choose to go down this rocky route.......read more
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