Composure

Human nature is an ever-elusive concept. Collectively, society is going full-steam-ahead into cataclysmic retrograde and we’d be jolly-well fucked to see it stop anytime soon. Why are we allowing this to happen?
We have wars for economic and strategic gain, war profiteering, worldwide famine and poverty, not to mention more societal aspects like the reigning train of thought that materialism leads to happiness, selfishness, racism, bigotry, prejudice, et. al.
It’s all around us. We see the writing on the wall every day as we’re driving to work, riding our bicycle to school, giving spare change to the homeless, volunteering for duty, calling the cops, going to church and looking out our windows.
We cannot affect the aforementioned so easily, whether by solitary or collective effort. We can, however, seek to alter the behaviors and character of ourselves and those around us.
We need to realize material wealth and selfishness, as an extension, will not ultimately solve anything. Acquisition almost always leads to a craving for more, with a central focus on the self. Our schooling, our hours at work, our promotions, our vehicles, our homes, our families and our wealth do not define us, and an utmost focus on any of these will not help anyone to achieve a real and lasting peace and harmony with themselves and ultimately others.
Buddhist wisdom teaches us that our minds are our source of suffering and that to ease or change our suffering, we must first change our minds. Doesn’t that sound so simple? Even if you do not subscribe to Buddhist ideologies, even so this advice must not be so easily dismissed.
We can choose to focus on all that we want and need, all that we don’t have but would like, our shortcomings and our failures or we could instead choose to focus on what we already have, what makes us beautiful, what makes those around us beautiful, what we have already achieved, what we have done to make any real impact, etc.
It is a defeatist folly to buy into the wholesale apathy and cynicism that society’s influence sells to us. We must match this apathetic inclination with a positive and humble outlook, realizing that real change starts with a conscious decision to alter our destructive behaviors and thoughts.
A good first step would be to refrain from hateful speech as well as thoughts. What you say is a direct reflection of what is in your heart. If your heart is swelling with derogatory remarks and hateful diction, that does not allow much room for happiness. For example, if you are volunteering somewhere and there is a fellow volunteer who is working arduously but you say, “What the hell do they have to prove? They’re only in it so everyone can talk about how great they are,” there’s nothing positive in that at all. If you choose instead to focus on the positive, “I may not agree with their reasons but at least she’s making a difference,” or, “At least they’ve found something they truly enjoy.”
If we are to keep moving in a positive forward motion, it would be unwise of us to dwell on our hypocrisies and all that we could be doing but aren’t. Instead we should focus on what we are already accomplishing because there is never a shortage of things we can do. Look not at what others are doing and compare your efforts to theirs, for there is surely someone who has done heaps more than you. Focus instead on what positive things you are already doing and seek to give them your utmost effort.
What we also need is a revolution of the heart, the mind and the soul. We need to so nourish ourselves and become more tolerant and compassionate beings so as to become models for those around us and so we can act with patience and understanding in all that we do, allowing for a more positive and healthy life.
Never mind the fact that there are those who are more or less privileged than you. Never mind those who are content in ignorance or those who champion their intelligence. Do not pay attention to the denomination of an individual or group, nor the color of their skin. These are only divisions and barriers that keep us from reaching out to others and also keep us from realizing our true potential. These divisions will do nothing to help us realize harmony with ourselves or others.
I can’t even begin to imagine what a happier place this world would be if people would just simply act with little more tolerance and patience. Actions always resonate and affect more than the immediate recipient of those actions. That snide remark you made to the person you bumped to in passing could have deeply upset that individual (because you will never know the circumstances of their anger or their current situation) and they will then go and project that outwards and, sometimes just as harmful, themselves.
Understand that we are all connected. We are all brought into this world through dependent arising and that we are social beings. Selfishness, anger, sadness, impatience-all these emotions do a heart no good. Compassion, kindness, positivity, a strong sense of forgiveness and having a short memory for those who have wronged you will help to brighten our darkening world.
We can simply seek to exist, sheltered and isolated from contact with anything substantial or we can choose to actually live a life defined by passion, compassion, harmony, peace, forgiveness, tolerance and overall kindness.
We can look for happiness to fall into our lap or for others to bring it to us or we can realize it all begins inside ourselves and that happiness is best when shared.