A rediscovery of self

I wrote this in response to a change that has come over me. In recent months, I have become so ugly, and angry, and bitter and callous and cruel! I have had not one nice word to utter, no kind smiles to bestow, and certainly not a warm hug or friendly kiss to share with loved ones. In fact, I'm shocked I still have "loved ones."

I've discovered something beautiful in the past week that I had forgotten about. Through the protests and the concerts and, of course, the Festival, I was introduced to so many good people that I'd never known before. I saw generosity in its purest form: people handing out box upon box of free, unopened water bottles to groups of protesters who had been tear gassed ; "free hugs," taken seriously and given earnestly in the middle of the night ; kind words exchanged between strangers ; a sense of true safety and security in the darkest, coldest, times of night because everyone knew that they were among friends.

It has reminded me that life is very much worth living, despite the sick, hard, dark, mean things that surround (and threaten to suffocate) humanity. I have been reminded that my purpose is humanity, is love, is freedom and peace for all. Forgiveness is not a privilege, not a "treat" to be handed out to the most enthusiastic trespasser – it is a way of life, a calm, peaceful state of mind that says, "the one who stole from me is the same one who stole from you, and from our fathers, and who will steal from our children – he is a sickness that has always plagued our people and always will, and the only cure is peace, and love, and forgiveness."

It was my hurt, which became my anger, which stole my heart, which was replaced by my cruelty, that suffocated my soul for all this time. And, it is YOUR love, which has become my forgiveness, which has restored my heart, which has replaced my cruelty, that has freed my soul again.

Hence, the poem "Magic." I do hope you enjoy.

Magic

And as glitter fell from the sky
Like particles of soul,
Or pieces of the sun,
And touched my glowing cheeks
And rained down into my mind
And dizzied my vision
And enchanted the beating of my heart,

And as the music played
And the children played
And the stars and the moon and the trees
Played together
All together, in the glittery midnight
And as the warmth of so much love
And so many bodies
And so many smiles
Came together in mass exaltation

And as the trees began to laugh
And the stars came out to watch
And the rain drip-drop tickled
The shining, upturned faces
Of the playing children

And as the kind, soft earth
Beneath clitter-clotter dancing feet
Sighed its slow, deep, kind approval
I looked around with soulful eyes
And they felt bigger than the sky
And took in more of my world
Than they could ever reach before

And I was loved.
And so began to love back.