what god wants

salvation or destruction

J. R. "Bob" Dobbs is the figurehead of the Church of the SubGenius. His image is derived from a piece of 1950s clip art. According to SubGenius dogma, "Bob" was a drilling equipment salesman who, in 1953, saw a vision of God (JHVH-1 according to Church scriptures) on a television set he had built himself. The vision inspired him to write the "PreScriptures" (as described in the Book of the SubGenius) and found the Church. The theology holds that "Bob" is the greatest salesman who ever lived, and has cheated death a number of times. He is also revered for his great follies and believed to be a savior of "slack". He was assassinated in San Francisco in 1984, though the Church states that he has come back from the dead several times since then.

The quotation marks in "Bob's" name are always included when spelling his name, according to the Church. According to Revelation X; The "Bob" Apocryphon, "Bob" was born in Dallas, Texas, to Xinucha-Chi-Xan M. Dobbs (a pharmacist) and Jane McBride Dobbs. At an early age he possessed a talent for making large amounts of money by playing the stock market over the telephone. He married his wife Connie in Las Vegas in 1955 and worked as a photographer's model while inventing and patenting novelty gag items. In 1957 he worked weekends doing Evangelical Christian preaching "strictly for the money". (read more)

Church Of The Sub-Genius

Lot and his daughters

Francesco Hayez (1791-1882)
Lot and His Daughters
Oil on canvas, 1833
Public collection

The story of Lot is told in the Book of Genesis. Lot is mentioned in chapters 11-14 and 19.

Lot was the son of Abraham's brother Haran. Lot and his family went with Abraham and his family from Ur of the Chaldees to Egypt. When Abraham traveled to the Land of Canaan at the command of God, Lot accompanied him. (Gen 12:1-5). Abraham had always a great affection for him, and when they could not continue longer together in Canaan because they both had large flocks and their shepherds sometimes quarrelled (Gen 13:6,7) he gave Lot the choice of his abode. Lot went southeast to plains near the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, since the land there was well watered. (Gen. 13:10-12).

About eight years after this separation, Chedorlaomer and his allies attacked the kings of Sodom and the neighbouring cities, pillaged Sodom, and took many captives, including Lot. Abraham armed his servants, pursued the confederate kings, and overtook them near the springs of Jordan. He recovered the spoils they had taken and brought back Lot with the other captives. Abraham was offered a reward by the King of Sodom, but refused even a shoelace.

In Gen. 19, when God plans to overturn and destroy the five cities of the plain, he sends angels to the city of Sodom they meet Lot at the city gates. Lot seems greatly concerned that the angels should spend the night in his house but the angels insist they wish to spend the night in the city street. Lot puts a great deal of pressure on them and eventually convinces them. However all the people of Sodom surround Lot's house with intent to meet (in some translations, rape) the angels (19:5). Lot offers the men his daughters instead, whom he says are virgins (19:8), but the men were not interested.

The angels decide to forewarn Lot of the dreadful catastrophe about to happen. Lot, his wife, sons-in-law, and daughters are warned to leave. The sons-in-law, do not take the warning seriously, also, Lot lingers. The angels took Lot, his wife, and his daughters by hand and drew them forcibly out of their house, saying, "Save yourselves with all haste. Look not behind you. Get as fast as you are able to the mountain, unless you be involved in the calamity of the city." Lot entreated the angels, who consented that he might retire to Zoar, which was one of the five doomed cities. His wife, looking back on Sodom, was turned into a pillar of salt.

Lot left Zoar and retired with his two daughters to a cave in an adjacent mountain. In Gen. 19:30-38, Lot's daughters incorrectly believed they were the only people to have survived the devastation. They assumed it was their responsibility to bear children and enable the continuation of the human race [see Gen 19:33–36]. The family had just left Zoar, and the daughters surely would have seen men there [see Hertz, J.H.,"The Pentateuch and Haftorahs" 2 ed. Soncino Press, London, 1972,page 69.] On two subsequent nights, according to the plan of the older daughter, they got their father drunk enough to have sexual intercourse with them. By him each became pregnant. The first son was named Moab (Hebrew, lit., "from the father" ). He was the patriarch of the nation known as Moab. The second son was named Ammon or Ben-Ammi (Hebrew, lit., "Son of my people"). He became the patriarch of the nation of Ammon.

slack - off

Church of the SubGenius

god and evil-lution

Okay,

you've all been wondering...

so here's the answer...

...God created evolution...

everybody happy now?

worship

"I don't believe

in a god

that needs to be worshiped."

Barbie Arrested !!!

TEHRAN, Iran - Police have closed down dozens of toy shops for selling Barbie dolls in Iran, part of a decades-long crackdown against "manifestations of Western culture," the semiofficial Mehr news agency reported Friday.

Barbie dolls are sold wearing swimsuits and miniskirts in a society where women must wear headscarves in public, and men and women are not allowed to swim together.

A ban on the sale of the Barbies, designed to look like young Western women, was imposed in the mid-1990s. In its latest report, Mehr quoted an unidentified police official as saying authorities confiscated the dolls from Tehran stores in a "new phase" of the campaign.

In 2008, the Iranian judiciary warned against the "destructive" cultural and social consequences and "danger" of importing Barbie dolls and other Western toys. Even so, Iranian markets have been full of them. One-third of Iran's population of 75 million is under 15. (read more)

Truth?

Perhaps we can divide humankind into two categories with regards to truth, viz., those who use the upper case form of the word, i.e., Truth and those who utilize the lower case form, i.e., truth. Those who use the former belong to the religious camp while those who prefer the latter are more likely to be more flexible minds with a more scientific bent. Religionists and believers of all hues believe that truth exists in a pure metaphysical sense in some heavenly vault presided over by a heavenly banker called God.

Then there are other ways in which we use the word “truth,” viz., in the singular or in the plural number. Once again those who use the singular number are more likely to be religionists or believers, insofar as they assume that there is one homogeneous form of the truth – a Platonic Idea of the Truth somewhere out there. They readily equate that with God – the Ultimate Idea. In their metaphysical world, capital letters abound. Also, those who use the singular number are more likely to use the upper case form of the word, while those who use the plural number are more likely to be those of a scientific bent who see the world in a more plural sense.

In Western cultures we are called on to swear upon the Bible in court, which in itself is a naked declaration of a Christian take on what truth means. Leaving this aside, let’s say that such a swearing is a metaphorical action rather than any religious declaration per se. One could swear on a constitution of a country or on the UN Declaration of Human Rights for that matter. That sometimes our law courts get it wrong, and that historically innocent people have been executed, testifies to how hard it is to arrive at what the real truth of a situation actually is.

Then, there is the psychological nature of truth. In this respect we recall Polonius’ advice to his departing son Laertes to be true to himself. Those of us with an existentialist bent will call this our desire for authenticity. Freud and Jung and their followers, taking inspiration from Kant, have taught us that truth has a very personal shape and that we can see things more as we are than as such things are in themselves. Then the fictional, if eccentric, Dr House reminds us in a most timely and contemporary manner that we all lie for various personal purposes. Objectivity, it would seem, like truth is not as easily defined as we might at first superficially and naively think.

the gods of man

The Stoning of Du'a Khalil Aswad

Du’a Khalil Aswad (دعاء خليل أسود)(c. 1989 – c. April 7, 2007) was a 17-year-old Iraqi Kurd of the Yazidi faith who was stoned to death in an honor killing. It is believed that she was killed around April 7, 2007, but the incident did not come to light until video of the stoning, apparently recorded on a mobile phone, appeared on the Internet. The rumor that the stoning was connected to her alleged conversion to Islam prompted heavy reprisals against Yazidis by Sunni extremists, including the 2007 Mosul massacre.

Aswad was taken to the town square and reports at the time alleged that she was stripped of her clothing down to her undergarments to symbolize that she had dishonored her family and religion. During the stoning, which lasted approximately thirty minutes, Aswad can be seen in the video attempting to sit up and calling for help as the crowd taunts her and repeatedly throws a large chunk of rock or concrete on her head. After her death in the town square, Aswad's body was tied behind a car and dragged through the streets. She was buried with the remains of a dog, allegedly to demonstrate that she was worthless. Eventually, her body was "exhumed and sent to the Medico-Legal Institute in Mosul so that tests could be performed to see whether she had died a virgin, results had then come back that confirm that she was in fact still a virgin." (read more)

Aphrodite

THAT (REAL) OLD TIME RELIGION

Chorus:
Give me that Old Time Religion,
Give me that Old Time Religion,
Give me that Old Time Religion ...
It's good enough for me!

We will worship Aphrodite,
'Though she's kind of wild and flighty -
We will see her in her 'nighty
And that's good enough for me!

We'll sing praises to Apollo;
Where the Sun God leads we'll follow
('Though his head's a little hollow) -
He's good enough for me!

With the aid of my athame
I can throw a "double-whammy"
(And can slice and dice salami!)
So it's good enough for me.

It was good enough for Buddha,
As a god he kinda cute-a,
And he comes in brass or pewta'
So he's good enough for me!

We all worshipped Dionysus
'Till we ran into a crisis -
The bar had raised its prices;
That's not good enough for me.

We will worship like the Druids
And drink strange, fermented fluids
And run naked through the woods
'Cause that's good enough for me!

We will go and sing "Hosanna"
To our good ol' pal, Gotamma.
He will never flim or flam ya',
And that's good enough for me!

We will finally pray to Jesus
From our sins we hope he frees us
Eternal life he guarantees us
And that's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Isis,
'Cause she comes through in a crisis
And she's never raised her prices
So she's good enough for me.

There are some that call it folly
When we worship Mother Kali.
She may not be very jolly
But she's good enough for me.

Shall we sing in praise of Loki,
Though he left poor Midgard smokey?
Oh, his sense of humor's hokey,
But he's good enough for me.

It was good enough for Loki,
The old Norse god of chaos,
Which is why this verse doesn't rhyme,
But it's good enough for me!

Montezuma liked to start out
Rites by carrying a part out
That would really tear your heart out,
But it's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Odin
Though the tremblin' got forbodin'
Then the giants finally strode in,
But it's good enough for me.

There's that lusty old Priapus -
He's just itching to unwrap us.
(He'd do more to us than tap us
And that's good enough for me!)

Shall we sing a verse for Thor,
Though he leaves the maidens sore?
They always come back for more,
So he's good enough for me!

It was good enough for Venus,
Of the Gods she is the meanest
And she bit me on my ... elbow
But she's good enough for me!

There are those who practice Voodoo,
There are those who practice Voodoo,
I know I do, I hope you do -
It's good enough for me.

We will go to worship Zeus
Though his morals are quite loose
He gave Leda quite a goose
And he's good enough for me!

(see entire lyrics)

Superstitious behavior

In the rainforest you're eaten for adultery

Apparently the American public believes in superstitions that are no less primitive than those of natives living in the rainforest or suicide bombers of radical Islamic sects. Members of a Midwest Baptist church claim that U.S. service men are dying overseas “..in divine retribution for American decadence and tolerance of homosexuality.” Now, I don’t have a problem with the Supreme Court defending their right to free speech. What bothers me is when Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. goes on to imply that their beliefs represent those of American society. According to Roberts: “The content of Westboro’s signs plainly relates to broad issues of interest to society at large regarding the moral conduct of the United States and its citizens, and the fate of our nation.” In addition, he says their beliefs “reflect matters of public import” [link]. Now if I’m to believe what I’m hearing from the highest-ranking justice in the land, then Americans are indeed a superstitious group of people. “Thank God for IEDs ..Thank God for dead soldiers” .. (!?) Forget federal funding for schools. No amount of education in the world is going to counter that type of savage thinking.

"Et tu, Brute?"

the word of god ?

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pick one

The Fall of Adam and Eve

The Fall (1467-68)
Hugo van der Goes

"You will not surely die,"
the serpent said to the woman.
"For God knows that when you eat
of it your eyes will be opened,
and you will be like God,
knowing good and evil."

Genesis 3:4-5

Anunnaki

(fastwalkers)

free the "blogfather"

Hossein Derakhshan, 35, who has both Iranian and Canadian nationality, won his nickname after developing a blog platform for Persian characters that was widely copied by online activists and commentators.

While living in Canada and Britain he became known as a defender of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Iran's president, against attacks from his many critics in the West. But he also went on a one-man peace mission to Israel, trying to show an Israeli perspective on conflicts in the Middle East to Iranians and also to "humanise" Iranians for his hosts.

He was arrested within weeks of his voluntary return to Iran in 2008. His alleged offences include working with "hostile" governments, propaganda against the Islamic establishment, propaganda in favour of anti-revolutionary groups, and insulting religious sanctities.

An anonymous source told Radio Free Europe that the trial had taken place behind closed doors and that although no sentence had yet been handed down, the prosecutor had sought the death penalty.

His mother, Ozra Kiarashpour, has confirmed that he has been convicted. "The prosecutor has asked for the severest sentence possible to punish Hossein and make an example of him," she said in an interview with a dissident website. "We can't do anything about the judge's ruling except to pray."

A death penalty would be unusual although writers and dissidents have been sentenced to lengthy jail terms. In the last week, two dissident journalists have been sentenced to six years' jail on similar charges, one for an interview he conducted for the BBC Persian service. Exile groups say that capital punishment is increasingly being sought against those accused of "mohareb", or offending God and his prophet. (read more) (facebook)

Christian Love ?

The "Rev." Terry Jones displays the height of "Christian Hypocricy".

The "Reverend", head of the Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, Fla., plans to burn copies of the Qur'an, the Muslim holy book, on September 11.

Having forgotten, or never known of, the admonitions contained within the Bible against violence, hate and revenge perhaps the "Reverend" can recall the nazi book burnings that led inevitably to the burning of humans, or the cautionary tale from "Fahrenheit 451". But that would require reading.

Heinrich Heine, a German poet in the 19th Century said this now infamous quote, "Where they burn books, they will ultimately also burn people".

Joseph Smith Meets An Extraterrestrial

Joseph Smith, Jr. (December 23, 1805 – June 27, 1844) was the founder of the Latter Day Saint movement, a group of churches whose adherents regard him as a prophet.

In the late 1820s, Smith announced that an angel had given him a book of golden plates, containing a religious history of ancient American peoples. Smith claimed the book was written in an unknown language, which he translated by use of seer stones given with the plates. In 1830, Smith published this translation as the Book of Mormon and organized what he claimed was a restoration of the early Christian church.

Moving the church in 1831 from western New York to Kirtland, Ohio, Smith attracted hundreds of converts, who came to be called Latter Day Saints. Some of these he sent to establish a holy city of "Zion" in Jackson County, Missouri. In 1833, Missouri settlers expelled the Saints from Zion, and Smith led an unsuccessful paramilitary expedition to recover the land. Fleeing an arrest warrant in the aftermath of a Kirtland financial crisis, Smith joined the remaining Saints in Far West, Missouri. However, tensions escalated into a violent conflict in 1838 with some hostile Missourians. Believing the Saints to be in insurrection, the governor ordered their expulsion from Missouri, and Smith was imprisoned on capital charges.

After escaping state custody in 1839, Smith led the Saints to build Nauvoo, Illinois on Mississippi River swampland, where he became mayor and commanded a large militia. In early 1844, he announced his candidacy for President of the United States. That summer, after the Nauvoo Expositor criticized Smith's teachings, the Nauvoo city council, headed by Smith, ordered the paper's destruction. In a futile attempt to check public outrage, Smith first declared martial law, then surrendered to the governor of Illinois. He was killed by a mob while awaiting trial in Carthage, Illinois.

Smith's followers believe he saw God and regard his revelations as scripture. His teachings include unique views on the nature of godhood, cosmology, family structures, political organization, and religious collectivism. His legacy includes a number of religious denominations, which collectively claim a growing membership of nearly 14 million worldwide.

Elohim (אֱלהִים) is a plural formation of eloah, an expanded form of the Northwest Semitic noun il (אֱל, ēl). It is the usual word for "god" in the Hebrew Bible, referring both to pagan deities and to the God of Israel, usually with a singular meaning despite its plural form, but is also used as a true plural with the meanings "spirits, angels, demons," and the like. The singular forms eloah (אלוה) and el (אֱל) are used as proper names or as generics, in which case they are interchangeable with elohim. Gods can be referred to collectively as bene elim, bene elyon, or bene elohim.

The notion of divinity underwent radical changes throughout the period of early Israelite identity. The ambiguity of the term Elohim is the result of such changes, cast in terms of "vertical translatability" by Smith (2008), i.e. the re-interpretation of the gods of the earliest recalled period as the national god of the monolatrism as it emerged in the 7th to 6th century BC in the Kingdom of Judah and during the Babylonian captivity, and further in terms of monotheism by the emergence of Rabbinical Judaism in the 2nd century AD.

In the Levantine pantheon, the Elohim are the 70 sons of El the Ancient of Days (Olam) assembled on the divine holy place, Mount Zephon (Jebel Aqra). This mountain, which lies in Syria, was regarded as a portal to its heavenly counterpart. The Elohim were originally ruled by El Elyon (God Most High), but He later hands His rule down to the god called Hadad who was known among the common people as "the master" ("Baal"). Assembled on the holy mountain of heaven and ruled by one, the pantheon (Elohim) acts as one. The enemy of the Elohim is Yam ("the sea"), a chaos monster slain by Baal. Each son was allocated to a specific people (e.g. Yahweh to Israel, Milcom to Moab etc.).

The word occurs more than 2500 times in the Hebrew bible, with meanings ranging from "god" in a general sense (as in Exodus 12:12, where it describes "the gods of Egypt"), to a specific god (e.g., 1 Kings 11:33, where it describes Chemosh "the god of Moab", or the frequent references to Yahweh as the "elohim" of Israel), to demons, seraphim and other supernatural beings, to the spirits of the dead brought up by the prophet Samuel in 1 Samuel 28:13, and even to kings and prophets (e.g., Exodus 4:16) The phrase bene elohim, usually translated "sons of God", has an exact parallel in Ugaritic and Phoenician texts, referring to the council of the gods.

One State Solution

I have a simple solution to the

Israeli-Palestinian Debacle...

take down all the walls and declare

the population there in as Israeli citizens.

Arab and Jew, Muslims, Christians, Druze, and Samaritans.


...but nobody ever listens to me...