Buffy Saint Marie - Detoxifying Aboriginal Self-Perception - The American Indian.

In Search of TRUTH

IN SEARCH OF TRUTH

(Chapter 1)

A man was walking in search of TRUTH. Some might have viewed his quest an aimless one, since he seemed to meander here and there, stopping at times for great lengths, before moving forward. They did so because they did not have the same teachers and so failed to RECOGNISE the problem wasn't that the quest was an aimless one, but the problem was truly in how they viewed it. Thus, they did not RE-EXAMINE themselves to the degree that would have helped them REALISE the TRUTH themselves by REPEATING the process.

The TRUTH is, he had shared their views. Not only from when he first began, but for what seemed like a very long time from when thought he first started. He thought he knew so much before he began, he didn't really view the trip as going to be a long one, let alone one that takes the rest of his life. He had first viewed the search for TRUTH as a simple journey, and indeed it was, but one of the first things he leaned to RECOGNISE, RE-EXAMINE and REALISE, was that 'simple' doesn't mean 'easy'.

The TRUTH is, when he first began he didn't even know where to begin. The thing that had REALLY prompted the journey to begin with was a single lie. A single lie that became the straw that broke the camels back. When he RECOGNISED that one lie, he had opened a floodgate of other lies from over the years, until he felt he was drowning in lies. 

The TRUTH is, he felt he was being lied to by everyone. Governments lied to him, Religions lied to him, Scientists and Experts lied to him, Friends and Family lied to him. Everyone lied to him and he lied to them right back. But the lie that tipped the scale in that moment, the one that pushed his head under the water and left him gasping for the breathe of life, didn't come from the Governments, or the Religions or the Scientists, or the Experts.

The TRUTH is, he had become so accepting of the fact they were lying to him about so many things, he began to expect it about everything, almost without question. The why of it always led back to fear and greed. Those were the building blocks of Civilisations that used slavery under many guises, to build itself up on the backs of others. Nimrods, all of them, but they didn't tell him the lie he RECOGNISED this time.

The TRUTH is, he was just as expectant and accepting of the Scientists and Experts that used false data as scientific facts, to create a false reality that supported the building blocks of Civilisations, so they could be considered "successful, credible and reputable", instead of a "failure, crank and loon". No, the lie he RECOGNISED didn't come from any of them either.

The TRUTH is, he was also just as expectant and accepting of being lied to by Family and Friends. Not from a sense of maliciousness nor malice on their part, for often they will say it was because they were protecting him or didn't want to hurt him, not seeing the dis-service they are truly doing themselves and him...maybe, he can handle the TRUTH. he simply has no ear for it yet. Maybe they couldn't handle simply telling it.

Even still, if TRUTH be told as it was meant to, even had this one particular lie been told a thousand times before, from every source he had ever encountered through all the years of his life to that moment, it would never have had the same impact upon RECOGNISING it, as it did in that moment. For in that moment of RECOGNITION and RE-EXAMINATION he REALISED the True Source of Betrayal, that had lead to the floodgates opening.

It was a lucky thing he followed REPETITION in the Refinement Process because FULL REALISATION did not come about during the first couple of passes. The True Source didn't wish to be revealed, so used clever wording to deflect from itself to remain hidden.  With each REPETITION however, another layer would peel away as he RECOGNISED these new variations on the same theme. With each RE-EXAMINATION he finally REALISED the True Source of ALL his betrayals and lies within his 'self', came from himself. 

He was the liar.

With that final REALISATION, a question popped through..."What if she really did love him?" and then his entire world came crashing down around him in that moment. He was torn from within himself and forced to truly look at himself from a perspective he had never seen before. One that slapped him across the face with every betrayal he had ever committed, with every lie he had ever told. One that left him curled in a fetal position on the floor writhing in pain.

He had never felt pain like this before. This wasn't his pain that was coursing throughout him, though it truly was, because this was the pain he had caused others. This was EMPATHY.  He couldn't breathe. He had to breathe, he felt as if every cell in his body was suffering. Breathe...Just Breathe...Let it go. Wave upon wave, the suffering extending beyond just him now and no longer restricted to just those he's met along his path, but continuing along all the degrees of separation.

It didn't matter if the lies had originated outside of himself or not, as HE had let them in and believed them, and then gave them to someone else that did the same. Whether he liked it or not, whether he believed it not, whether or not he wanted to admit it, he was finally seeing things from TRUTH's perspective and there was no arguing about it.

As he progressed through the surface feelings to the depth of his being, TRUTH continued to share wave upon wave of feelings he had caused others, though as he went deeper the feelings became stronger and more loving, refilling him with joy. He also noticed there weren't as many of these feelings which made him REALISE he hadn't been as loving as he believed.

He finally saw where the TRUE POWER was and wasn't. All these years, his beliefs ,opinions and perspectives, never once changed the TRUTH, but in a fraction of a second, a mere moment of seeing TRUTH, changed them all forever.
He was faced with a glass half full, of the stuff he didn't like. He clearly saw it had nothing to do with the red pill or the blue pill, this was the medicine he had to take, and even though he didn't like it...at least it was only half full.

If you were to ask the man, this would have been one of the most pivotal moments in his life. He was finally AWARE of where to truly begin the search for TRUTH...Within his 'Self'. Not that he felt he owned the TRUTH, that was not the REVELATION that had ignited the inspiration of thoughts that came pouring forth. No it was when he RECOGNISED each LIE was  a FEAR hiding a TRUTH, that made him REALISE he had never honestly begun his search yet, because he was still lying to himself. After all, how can you honestly hope to find something, you are not willing to search honestly for...and with that, his EGO began to die.

The REVELATION itself, was that in order to find the TRUTH, he would first have to find his TRUE SELF, that he may then continue to seek honestly...and with that, his ID was reborn and the fabric of reality began to take shape. He finally understood FREE WILL was not attached to his day to day decisions, as much as it was attached to his initial decision to HONESTLY seek the TRUTH and see it through.

This experience had the added lesson that taught him that in this HONEST pursuit of TRUTH, he had also taken a few more steps down the path of WISDOM as well. For the ancients had said; "Do not seek to know, seek to be wise." and he finally understood what that meant. Wisdom is not the 'Accumulation of Knowledge' as the liars would have you believe so they can Lord their knowledge over those they deprive it from.

In TRUTH, WISDOM is the proper 'Application of Knowledge', so truly one can know very little and still be very wise, or think they know so much and still be fools.